@ Friday, Sep. 05, 2008 – 12:36:44 am
I've spent most of the evening with lappy in front of me and a drinkie by my side with no problems. I nipped out to the pub for an hour or so with no problems. So why, at this time of night does a house-fly decide that it really needs to buzz around my head in that annoyingly loud way that they reserve for this hour?
Is it hinting that maybe, just maybe, I should take a bath? after all it's been all of four days since my last one...
@ Friday, Sep. 05, 2008 – 12:09:54 am
I have some, at least.
I have just come home from the pub. While I was at the pub I was offered a £5 bet on "Guess the age of the Birthday Girl". This is not a game that I relish being challenged to by anyoone, let alone the girl in question and her drunken boyfriend. OK, it was the boyfriend offering a fiver for the winner provided that it was the first guess.
Last night I was in a bad mood, so I went to the pub forgetting that it was Wednesday. Wednesday night is quiz night, so it should have been packed to the gunwalls. It was empty by the time I got there (10:20 pm) and the quiz had finished. That would never have happened in my time as quizmaster, the entertainment would carry on until way past closing time. But that's another story that I have touched upon before on my blog.
Tonight I was in a good mood. I felt - and still feel - that I had done a good job today, well worth some credit, but that may or may not be forthcoming by close of play tomorrow, so I felt like having a wee drinkie.
On my way home I caught up with the birthday girl and her friends as they walked along my road. Birthday girl was a little disconcerted to have someone walking along a dark alley behind her and she called out "Who's that?"
I responded with a quiet "only me," as I walked into the light of the only working streetlamp in the vicinity.
"Oh, it's you!" she responded. "It's OK, guys. He's really cool. He's got good taste in music. Every time I see him he's got his headphones on and I snuck a quick listen last time. I think he was listening to The Prodigy or sumfink."
So she likes me. She trusts me because of my taste in music 
. She now knows where I live.
She's a fairly good looking girl, too.
Just such a shame that even at my age, I'm old enough to be her father...
@ Thursday, Sep. 04, 2008 – 12:58:36 am
Now there's a 
surprise. 
@ Wednesday, Sep. 03, 2008 – 10:15:47 pm
...but seriously, fuck this. It's quarter-past-ten. I'm off down the pub for an hour.
Switching to iPod-mode, so I won't be able to watch any embedded videos or stuff for a while.
I just need to get out for a bit.
@ Tuesday, Sep. 02, 2008 – 10:14:03 pm
Little known facts about my good self, as nicked from Landers:
@ Tuesday, Sep. 02, 2008 – 07:35:21 pm
That's what I want at my funeral!Highway to Hell popular at funerals
AC/DC's Highway to Hell is becoming one of the most requested funeral tunes in Australia.
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from the Wizard of Oz, and Another One Bites the Dust by Queen are also popular, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Funeral managers at Centennial Park, the largest cemetery and crematorium in Adelaide, said only two hymns still rank among its top 10 most popular funeral songs: Amazing Grace and Abide With Me.
Highway to Hell, which includes the line: "Going down, party time; My friends are gonna be there too", is just outside the top ten, with Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven.
Leading the funeral chart is crooner Frank Sinatra's classic hit My Way followed by Louis Armstrong's version of Wonderful World.
"Some of the more unusual songs we hear actually work very well within the service because they represent the person's character," Centennial Park chief executive Bryan Elliott said.
Among other less conventional choices were Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python, Hit the Road Jack, and I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
Source: Ananova
@ Tuesday, Sep. 02, 2008 – 01:15:31 am
...need medical assistance
A severe case of "D'oh!"
@ Tuesday, Sep. 02, 2008 – 01:09:21 am
...I find it's time for bed.
In the mean time though, I'd better note the most remarkable points of my day.
Erm...
Oh, yeah, and then erm...
Ah, you should have seen it when erm...
Nope.
Nothing.
Today has been a complete non-event for me.
Except for one thing. I am finding it difficult to drive while wearing my new boots. I guess I just need to break them in over the next few days.
G'night! 
@ Saturday, Aug. 30, 2008 – 09:17:19 pm
Right. Light's try posting this a THIRD time. I got logged out the first time and the second time lappy decided that it wasn't happy with what I was doing having IE open for so long. Jeez, computers can be so uppity at times, can't they?
This could either be an epic post with dodgy piccies taken with my new phone, or it could be the most boring thing you've ever seen. You have been warned!
OK, let's start with some of my hometown's murals as I said to Usky that I'd try to post some a couple of weeks ago...
Along the High Street a depiction of life as it would have been during the town's heyday shortly after the opening of the branch line to Brookwood Cemetary:
Then under Victoria Arch, we find some more, unfortunately most have been vandalised by idiots with no sense of the history of this town 
, but of the least damaged these represent the importance to the town of
The Basingstoke Canal;
the Shah Jihan Mosque, the first mosque to be built in England;
Woking Football Club, founded in 1889, and defeated 1-0 by Everton in the 1991 FA Cup (the only football match I've ever been to watch);
the London-Portsmouth mainline whose branching of to Brookwood gave life to the town through death, ironically;
and the towns coat of arms;
Now we can go for a wander around a small part of the main town itself from Victoria Arch towards and through the market
down along Commercial Way,
catching a glimpse of the Hawker Hunter outside the nightclub 
then a quick look up Chertsey Road towards the station,
and then off down Chertsey Road towards Dukes Court.
Here's a view a certain fellow blogger may or may not recognise - Dukes Court from outside the Rat and Parrot.
After a swift half (or two *ahem*) at the Rat, it was time to meander homeward. On the way home I took in the views of the rear end of a martian war machine
and the eyesore that is the Lightbox.
After that I retired to the peace, tranquility and above all coolness of home to try on my new boots!
And it's only taken me 4-and-a-half hours to post this.
@ Saturday, Aug. 30, 2008 – 04:48:37 pm
I just hope the same hasn't happened to other parts of me. *ahem*
I'm at the pub (second visit today, for shame) on the way back home from a sweltering afternoon in very sunny Woking. I haven't been in to town for weeks, but little has changed. It's still a shite-hole of a town, despite recent redevelopments.
Anyway, the main reason for my little trek into Boringsville was to buy some new boots. I'm glad to say that that mission has been accomplished and it came in under budget!
£9.99 for a decent pair of size eights. Eights? I've taken size tens for years! How come my feet have shrunk so much? 
@ Saturday, Aug. 30, 2008 – 12:24:10 am
Filmed at lunchtime. Test film take 2.
YES! It works! 
@ Friday, Aug. 29, 2008 – 11:44:05 pm
We’ve just had one of our pool cars come back from being serviced, and the bloke who did it said that the front tyres were borderline illegal, with only 2mm of tread so they ought to be replaced.
As it’s going back and forth to Bristol all next week, I took it down to Kwikfit and told the guys there what had been said to us. After a brief inspection, one of the lads came back to me and told me that there was nothing wrong with the tyres, “Well, I don’t know which part of the tyres he was measuring. They’re fine, and the lease company won’t authorize replacing them.”
That’s the first time we’ve used that garage for servicing, and unfortunately as we don’t control the contract, it won’t be the last. I certainly will be doubtful of anything they say in future.
@ Friday, Aug. 29, 2008 – 10:33:20 pm
I has one!
Hollo dear
I am a lady with great sense of humour,am good looking and understanding,am 22 years old female, i want to meet a man of trust and honesty,who i can share my love, and also spent the rest of my life with.Someone with intellect and respect, a man that knows how to treat uncommon girl.My mail address is (joysonia4love@[well known provider].com) You can contact me with my mail address above for easy communication and to know each other very well. Looking forward to hear from you soonest, i will tell you more about me when i hear from you. I will send my pictures in my next mail when i hear from you ok. Have a nice day with lovely kisses,please dont forget to write me back through mail address for easy communication.
Yours Joy.
Thanks for the lovely kisses, dear, but maybe not, eh?
I'll be honest with you. Someone of my intellect can sense a scam message a mile off, so with respect, BUGGER OFF!
@ Friday, Aug. 29, 2008 – 09:37:37 pm
My brother's just flown in from Luxembourg for the weekend, and the first any of us knew of this was when he walked in the front door. Surprised the lot of us, but none so much as Penny. She didn't now whether to bark at him or greet him at first, so she did both! 
Anyway, while I'm here I may as well tell you lot about the rest of my day...
I got the best feeling I’ve had for ages this morning when I took £200 out at the ATM and the balance on the receipt was still in four figures! I’m rich! RICH! RICH! 
Shame the first £45 I spent was on fuel for the car, but you can’t have everything, can you?
Bought one of the items on my little list at lunchtime. An LG “chocolate” KG800 mobile and I’ve spent all afternoon playing with it. I like it. It’s so much better than my old phone.
I’ve never had a phone that can take piccies:
Ooops! Deleted this one by accident!
Dude, where's my computer?
The Polo field, from my office:
Not bad for £50. I still want a decent camera, though. 
Tomorrow, I will mostly be shopping for boots. 
@ Friday, Aug. 29, 2008 – 12:45:39 am
I can't wait to get to the bank in the morning and take out some of that lovely, lovely bonus and fritter it away on something trivial.
And then I might buy myself lunch. A proper lunch consisting of food for a change.
But then again, why change the habit of a lunchtime?
@ Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008 – 09:07:28 pm
I've just noticed in my "Live traffic feed" tracking box wot I just put up last night that there are some very strange people out there.
People like the Belgian visitor who stumbled over THIS POST after googling for "RAF porn" 
@ Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008 – 06:20:43 pm
09.30:
Nothing like a Bank Holiday for putting your body-clock out of kilter, is there?
I’ve been counting down the days until Saturday because I get paid on Saturday, but it’s not Saturday, it should be Friday, but my head says that’s another day away so that would be Saturday. I’ve just got to try to convince myself that I get paid on Thursday so that my internal calendar can compensate for having two Sundays. Does any of that make any kind of sense? No? Didn’t think so, but that’s what it’s like in my little brain. 
10.28:
And now it seems I’m an hour ahead of myself, too. I was just thinking “Only an hour ‘til lunchtime…”
An hour ahead, but a day behind. Where have the other 23 hours gone to?
@ Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008 – 12:55:13 am
Today felt like Monday,
I know it was Tuesday.
It's now Wednesday.
and I'm feeling rather Thursday
G'night all!
@ Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2008 – 08:53:29 pm
1. Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
2. One of the most awkward things to happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with that of a total stranger.
3. Everyone who grew up in the ‘80s has entered the digits “5318008” into a calculator.
4. Reading while drunk is horrible. You always seem to read the same paragraph at least twice.
5. Reading while drunk is horrible. You always seem to read the same paragraph at least twice.
6. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly.
7. You are never quite sure whether it is legal to have a fire in your own garden.
8. Whatever your age, the urge to make Barbie and Action Man shag is almost impossible to resist.
*But surely Barbie comes with Ken?*
*No, she comes with Action Man, she fakes it with Ken* 
9. You never know where to look when eating an apple.
10. You never know where to look when in the presence of a woman eating a banana.
11. It is virtually impossible to describe the smell of wet cat in polite company.
12. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel like a Man.
13. When clearing out an overgrown garden you will always find a rubber ball.
14. You always feel a bit nervous when stroking a horse.
15. The most embarrassing thing to do at school is to call your teacher “Mum”.
16. The smaller the dog, the more it looks at you as if it would happily kill you given half a chance.
17. Some days you see a lot of people on mobility scooters.
18. Every bloke has flushed half-way through and raced it.
19. Elderly women with mobile phones just look wrong, somehow.
20. Driving through a tunnel is an adventure in itself.
21. Elderly women can eat far more than you think.
22. There is no way that you can respect a man who carries his dog. Unless it’s a Rottweiler.
23. There’s no panic like the panic you feel when you find you hand is stuck in something.
24. The most painful household incident is treading on an upturned electrical plug.
25. People who don’t drive slam car doors far too hard.
26. The day you keep aside a thin piece of wood to stir paint with is the day you’ve turned into your father.
27. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
28. Bricks are horrible to carry.
29. In every bag of chips there’s one green one.
30. Triangular sandwiches taste better.
@ Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2008 – 07:20:40 pm
1. More than 98% of felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children brought up in bread-using households fall below average in standardized tests.
3. In the 18th Century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of bread consumption.
5. Bread is addictive. Subjects deprived of bread have been known to beg for it after as little as two days.
6. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, often leading to “harder” items such as butter, jam, peanut butter, cold meats and even MARMITE.
7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. As the human body is more than 90% water, the consumption of too much bread will result in your turning into some kind of gooey, squidgy bread pudding-like mass.
8. In 95% of fatal road accidents where a driver is at fault, that driver is found to have eaten bread.
9. Bread is baked at over 400o Fahrenheit – hot enough to kill an adult within minutes.
10. Most bread eaters are unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
@ Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2008 – 06:41:55 pm
Or something like that.
I checked my mobile phone credit this morning. I have £2.87 remaining.
The last time I remember topping up my credit was back in May when I put £20 on it.
I’m just not a very chatty person, really, OK?
Some may say that that shows I’m a man of action rather than of words, but calling me a man of action is a bit extreme. I mean, “Man of Action” implies activity and activity implies effort, but then again, “man of sitting on the sofa with his laptop in front of him” doesn’t sound too good, does it?
@ Monday, Aug. 25, 2008 – 08:18:05 pm
Have I not posted anything today?
Must be a sign of how interesting this Bank Holiday Monday has been.
I've decided that in order to appear more health-conscious at work, I'm going to cycle to the pub for lunch. A small gesture, but it may be noticed. As well as that, I might be able to sell the damn bike to one of my co-workers if they actually see it.
I've been meaning to sell it for over a year because I bought a better one.
Ho-hum. Better get round to sticking it in the back of the car ready for tomorrow.
