Confusion Reigns Supreme

I've just noticed that I've been awake for the last twenty-four hours.

I wonder what work will be like in the morning...

G'night!

DUTY FREE CIGGIES!

Better make a start on the old clearing up. Parents are flying back this evening, arriving at 9pm, and I've got to go and pick them up.

No drinkies for me until much later, then.

(Nicked from Landers)

I could survive for 1 minute, 6 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Oh dear.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the instability of financial institutions in the UK, trouble has now spread to hit the financial sector of Japan.

Over the past seven days, the Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly-up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut branches.

Yesterday it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is expected to go for a song, while shares in the Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks and Ninja Bank has taken a hit, but still remains in the black.

But there was bad news at the Karate Bank where 500 staff have been given the chop.

Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff and customers may get a raw deal.

So true.

...you've finally sold your soul like I thought you never would.

Tell me: How much did it take? How much to make you bend to their ways?

No longer spreading anarchy in the UK? Rather spread Country Life on yer toast? I suppose the first syllable fits.

This is not the kind of sell-out I wanted from you, of all people.

Tonight I am sampling a bottle of Henney's Frome Valley dry cider:

6%abv, £1.59/500ml, Sainsbury's

Clear and lightly sparkling, it has a full, fruity aroma reminiscent of autumn windfalls and a hearty, mellow taste. You can definitely tell there's apples in there. Dry, though not as dry as some that I've had before.

This is really rather a good one.

See? That the generous kind of guy I am.

Not much going on around here. I suppose I'd better think of doing something positive and constructive.

I need to throw out all the bread in the house as it's all gone mouldy. So I need to add bread to my shopping list.
While I'm at it I'd better get at least one pack of Dentastix for the dogs as I'm down to the last one and they don't really like sharing things like that. I'd better get some Devil's Claw capsules for the big fella, too as I'm down to the last one of those.

And then I'd better start clearing up the house ready for my parents' return on Sunday. Meh! that can wait for a day at least...

Told you it would be boring, didn't I?

I've just got back from the pub to find Paddington obviously hankering after more food...

And Penny obviously wants something too:

Excuse the poor quality, these pics were taken quickly with the camera on my phone.

*note to self - save those pennies, you need a decent camera*

*further note to self - thank goodness you didn't catch what's in the sink in the first one. Need to do something about that soon.*

I've just had to lock Penny away while I dealt with a surprise visitor. An attractive young bird who just popped into the conservatory on her way past.

She seem a little startled at my appearance (I must get dressed some time ) and tried to escape through a closed window.

I managed to catch her gently around her shoulders and whispered soothing words to her as I guided her away from anything breakable.

She slipped my grasp and made a break for it out of the open conservatory door and off into the wild blue yonder to rejoin the rest of her pigeony friends.

It was a lovely, if brief, visit. I just wish she hadn't crapped on the windowsill.

Come on, own up!

Who did it?

Who just tagged me.

And how do you know they're gorgeous?

I love this programme. It's the most informative thing I can find on telly at this ungodly hour of the morning. Just been watching how they produce tinned sweetcorn. Fascinating.
After taking the kernels from the cobs they're washed and sorted to make sure it's just the kernels that get through before being inspected on a great big conveyor by people in white coats and rubber gloves. I want that job. I doubt if I'd last too long though, because I'd be standing there shoveling handfuls of the stuff in my gob while maniacally cackling.

MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

I jus' luuuurves my sweetcorn.

It's just gone 4am and if I hadn't already been awake I probably would have been woken up by the 'phone ringing.

I let it go to answerphone. No-one there. But there was the sound of some kind of rustling or wind and random crackles.

I dialed 1471, but I don't recognise the number that called.

Curious. (And slightly furious, too!)

My ankles are weird.

Or more to the point, the hairs on my legs are weird.

I've just noticed that apart from the normal ones that grow above my ankles, there is one individual hair on my left ankle growing all on its own like a little follicular outcast. Poor little thing.

Yes, you're right. I'm bored.

...cocktail is wot I is drinking right now.

It's one that I call an "Apple Sandwich"

Take a quarter of a glass of cider.
Carefully add to that half a glass of cider.
Top off the sandwich with a quarter of a glass of cider.

Do not shake or stir in order to keep the integrity of the sandwich effect.

Best served in a glass. As often as possible.

*hic*

I was down the pub the other night (now there's a surprise) and I was just sitting at the periphary, as I usually do, people watching and picking up snippets of other people's conversations when I heard one of the more attractive young ladies behind the bar say that she'd give me one.

Unfortunately it was out of ten.

I don't know why I'm watching "Elite Forces" on the Discovery Channel, it's not my normal choice of viewing, but one of the guys they had on the programme was an ex Navy SEAL. One of the things they had to learn how to do was to swim underwater without breathing out as the bubbles would betray their presence. This would lead to any enemy who spots the bubbles shouting out "Swimmer in the water!" and throwing a grenade as near to your location as possible.

This veteran described the effect of even a small grenade going off underwater near you as being "like sticking an eggbeater up your butt and having a wildman on the crank."

Ouch!

I've just won on the National Lottery!

Now how am I going to spend this sensibly?

Three pints of cider should do it, I think. After all, you can't get much more than that for a tenner...

What can I say about today?

Has it really only been a week since my parents flew off to Greece?

I think I’m keeping track of the time, although I did think it was Sunday this morning, which is why the dogs didn’t get walked until 4 o’clock this afternoon.

I’ve just enough money left to last me until pay day on Tuesday, despite having that massive bonus at the start of the month. The debts ate up most of that, but at least I’ve been able to afford a new ‘phone and for once I haven’t had letters and ‘phone calls from the bank. Let’s see if I can now manage to keep that up - that trip to Edinburgh in November is looking very dodgy now *eek*. I may not be able to make it to Leeds, either, but I want to go to at least one of this year’s blogmeets. It looks light Brighton is the front-runner. Ho-hum. At least I know my way around Brighton.

Not much else to say about my day really. I’ve spent most of my time updating applications on my lappy and trying to figure out how to work with what’s changed. It may take some time before I’m happy with what I’ve got now, but I’m not going to let this thing beat me. Let’s face it, if I didn’t have my lappy and my blog would I miss anything? OK, yes, I’ve made friends in Blogville that I would never have met in my entire life and I’m grateful for that, but if I hadn’t joined up would I be any the wiser?

I’m starting to mumble things to myself now that I would never put on my blog so I’d better shut up for a while…

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

I'm more Catwoman than Superman!

I've just heard that Paul Newman has passed away.

http://www.france24.com/en/20080927-screen-legend-paul-newman-dead-83

Paul Leonard Newman (January 26, 1925 - September 26, 2008)was an American actor, film director, entrepreneur, race car driver, racing team owner and humanitarian. He won numerous awards, including an Academy Award, two Golden Globe Awards, a Screen Actors Guild Award, a Cannes Film Festival Award, and an Emmy award, along with many honorary awards. He won several national championships as a driver in Sports Car Club of America road racing and his race teams won several championships in open wheel Indy Car racing. He was also the founder of Newman's Own, a food company from which Newman donated all profits and royalties to charity. As of May 2007, these donations have exceeded US$220 million. Newman died at his long-time home in Westport, Connecticut after a battle with lung cancer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Newman

May he rest in peace.

That Wikimeme that's been doing the rounds since I first spotted it on Xenon's blog (you've got a lot to answer for y'know! )

The rules are go into Wikipedia and type in just your day and month of your birth, then choose four events, three births, two deaths, and one holiday..

Events
1026 - Pope John XIX crowns Conrad II as Holy Roman Emperor.
1812 - An earthquake destroys Caracas, Venezuela.
1839 - The first Henley Royal Regatta is held.
1976 - Queen Elizabeth II sent out the first royal email, from the Royal Signals and Radar Establishment.

Births
1794 - Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, German painter (d. 1872)
1911 - Tennessee Williams, American dramatist (d. 1983)
1961 - William Hague, British politician

Deaths
1814 - Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, namesake of the guillotine (b. 1738)
1973 - Noel Coward, English composer and playwright (b. 1899)

Holiday
Independence Day - Bangladesh

I heard about THIS this morning and thought: "Only in Glasgae"

"A wonderful group of men and women who drink in the woods got inspired by the idea when I was telling them about it, so they started bringing their empty beer cans to the manse to use in the new building."

I've just got home from walking Paddington (with a brief stop at the pub) to find my ansaphone flashing its little red message light at me. Normally people just ring off when they hear the machine answering, which is why I leave it on even if I'm in - if the need to get in touch they'll leave a message.

So I pressed "Play" only to be confronted by a telemarketing automaton - and I do mean automaton, there was no human contact. Heck, there couldn't have been, otherwise they would have hung up as soon as they heard the words "This is a recorded message, please leave your message after the tone."

Human telemarketers are bad enough - no offence to any telemarketers out there, I know deep down you're all very nice people, and I would never be rude over the phone to one - but I really hate answering the phone to bloody machines. It must be the most idiotic way of getting people to enter a prize draw to win a time-share on the Costa Fortune.

It's Spam-by-phone, aural junk mail, and if, like me, you rely on the ansaphone to vet your calls, ther's no getting away from it.

After all the celebrations of the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics, those fiendish Chinese had to let off one last rocket.

Good luck to them, I say. Although making the life of the ordinary Chinese citizen any easier may have been overlooked in the grand scheme of things yet again...

In 2003, researchers from Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest and the Sony Computer Science Laboratory in Paris tried to find out whether dogs would accept Sony's commercial dogbot AIBO as one of their own. The experiment resulted in a formal scientific publication, "Social behaviour of dogs encountering AIBO, an animal-like robot in a neutral and in a feeding situation", and the insight that the answer is "no".
Source: New Scientist

From this week's New Scientist:

Antidepressants may harm male fertility.

It's enough to make you even more depressed.

I took him out for a walk and promised him his dinner when we got back.

I served him his dinner as promised.

He left it.

Why?

Because I served to him in the utility room rather than the kitchen.

As soon as I picked up his bowl and moved it to the kitchen he tucked in to it like it's the first thing he's eaten for a month.

Bloody fussy eater, my Padster.

.

I really must be bored if I'm posting this.