Confusion Reigns Supreme

I'm just about to close the office for the evening. Why have these oh-so-urgent jobs not been collected if they were needed first thing this morning?

Deadlines, schmedlines. If this happens more often I'm likely to start ignoring those important deadlines that they give me, because it wasn't that important last time so why should it be vital this time?

And I shall laugh my arse off when it all goes tits-up.

Three winning bets completely free!!!

No joining fee, monthly membership fee or are you asked to make any financial commitment what so ever when you join.

As a member you will be sent e-mail with our selection for a horse to be backed for that day (once or twice a week) as a member of our betting syndicate, you do not pay anything what so ever for the first three winning bets, excluding any placed bets that come in placed. After that we ask you to put on a bet on behalf of us as a commission on odds to stake basis for all horses that win, after that third free winning bet. This in fact means you will have make a substantial profit on the bets we have supplied completely free of charge to you. If of course you do not wish to continue betting with us you are complete free to op out at no charge what so ever with no hard feeling on our behalf.

By this time we would have proven to you that our system really does work and you can make substantial winnings, let us explain more. The forth and all subsequent winning selections we as all clients to place a £100 commission bet with their own bet and pay the winnings as a commission paid to us based on the odds to stake basis. Therefore you only pay our commissions out of the money the bookies have in fact paid out to you in winnings, to find out more check out the Staking/Betting plan link.

The WIN WIN Situation £££

Yes this really is the Win Win situation
You Win we Win we like that, you lose we lose, don’t like that one little bit.
The reasoning for this is that you only pay us our commission when you have Won and our making profits.

So it’s in our own interest that our syndicate members Win Win Win. We don’t ask you to pay any commission until you are in profit and it is the bookies who pays our commissions out of the winning they pay you (nice bookie). You cannot lose if you follow our system.

THIS IS YOUR 1 AND ONLY CHANCE TO JOIN OUR SYNDICATE AS WHEN WE HAVE REACHED OUR TRAGETED MEMBERSHIP WE WILL CUT THE LINK

Well, I must say that I feel complete free to op out right from the start. No hard feeling, eh?

I don't like people trying to sell me into some scheme or other with bad English. I'll keep my money in my pocket, thanks. That way I Win Win Win.

I do hope you meet your TRAGET. *snrk!*

This is a brand new (5 miles on odometer) Dodge Viper Special Edition. (only 1 of 4 in Southern California). Customer came in and wanted to buy it, keys were given to porter to get it filled up with gas. On the way back from the gas station, the porter lost control and crashed into 4 parked cars.

The porter said his foot sliped off the clutch.

I only ask because most of those jobs I was sweating over on Friday that were due to be picked up FIRST THING THIS MORNING are still here, sitting on my desk awaiting collection.
I wish I had their lives, those people who think that "first thing" is around 11 o'clock!

Ho hum. On with this report that needs doing by 4 this afternoon. I wonder when this one will be collected...

I had a very strange and extremely lucid dream this morning.
I was in a shop similar to Zavvi, browsing through the cd's. I picked out what I wanted - a couple of Talking Heads albums - and then went to flick through the magazine rack. I picked up a magazine about games for a console that I don't have and probably never will, and went to the cash desk. After being ignored for five minutes or so the woman behind the counter took my purchases and scanned them and asked for £59.97. I looked in my wallet to find that I only had £40 on me. I asked her to hold on to my stuff for a couple of minutes while I went to the bank. I dashed out of the shop and across the road to the bank. I put my card int the ATM and then...

...I woke up.

I can still picture that magazine. It had a brown card sleeve over it and had a demo disc attached to the front.

I have absolutely no idea what that means - either the magazine or the dream in general.