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I got a sweater for my last birthday.

I really wanted a screamer or a moaner, though.

The truth will out

The answer is that the second statement was false. I actually starred in a radio commercial for a local youth club back in 1985.
The phrase "Oh, no! Now we're in for it!" will be forever etched on my memory, despite rigorous attempts to wipe that bit clean.

The facts behind the other two statements are as follows:

1. I once got caught speeding on a pushbike.

I was speed trapped in a 30mph zone cycling at 42mph. The officer who pulled up beside me when I eventually stopped to light a ciggie said that by rights he should at least give me a caution for "pedalling furiously", but instead asked what kind of gears I had fitted to the bike.

3. I have been slandered as being a murderer.

I was spotting for a fellow pupil during a trampoline lesson at school when he decided to try to do a backward somersault and failed, almost breaking his neck as he rolled off the trampoline toward me. It's amazing how many people WHO WERE NOT THERE swore blind that I jumped out of the way, rather than try to soften his fall.

I know I jumped towards him, he knows I jumped towards him and so did the teacher who was standing just a few feet away, yet still I was labelled a "murderer".

OK, here goes...

In accordance with the rules, one of these statements is false:

1. I once got caught speeding on a pushbike.

2. I have starred in a television advert for a club.

3. I have been slandered as being a murderer.

Which one is it?

You Are Not Spiritual

You tend to be a very facts oriented person. For you, life is about what is true. You don't really concern yourself with spirituality or religion. You prefer what's real. You try your best to be a good person and make good decisions, but you don't worry about your life's purpose. You just take things as they come. You don't look for meaning where there isn't any.

Sounds about right for me.

What time does Sean Connery go to watch the Wimbledon Tournament?

...

...

Tennish...

Lifted from Lucreziaborgia, ta!

USING ONLY ONE WORD Not as easy as you might think! !

Where is your mobile phone?
Pocket.

Your significant other?
None.

Your hair?
Greying.

Your mother?
Here.

Your father?
Likewise.

Your favourite thing?
Laptop.

Your dream last night?
Weird.

Your favourite drink?
Cider.

Your dream/goal?
Wealth.

What room are you in?
Lounge.

Your hobby?
Blogging

Your fear?
Bankruptcy.

Where do you want to be in 6 years?
Anywhere.

Where were you last night?
Pub.

Something that you aren't?
Rich.

Muffins?
Thanks!

Wish list item?
Newfoundland

Last thing you did?
Blog

What are you wearing?
Clothes.

TV?
On.

Your pets?
Cute.

Friends?
Few

Your life?
Simple.

Your mood?
Bored.

Missing someone?
No.

Drinking?
Yes.

Smoking?
Yes.

Your car?
Mum's.

Something you're not wearing?
Aftershave.

Your favourite store?
Closed.

Your favourite colour?
Magenta.

When is the last time you cried?
Recently.

Where do you go to over and over?
Pub.

Five people who email me regularly?
Spammers.

My favourite place to eat?
Home.

Favourite place I'd like to be at right now?
Pub.

I've been featured on another blogsite!

If anyone gets a visitor commenting that your meme has been stolen by Judd Corizan don't worry, he's one of the good guys!

Thanks, Judd!

You Are Clam Chowder

You are cynical and a bit provincial. You don't trust what's new or trendy. You are also indulgent and hedonistic. You like rich foods, and you would never count calories. You are not a big cooker - or a big foodie. Food is not complicated for you. You eat what's comfortable. And what's from a box or can. You're very low maintenance.

Clam chowder?